past, present and future dumps

So I just watched Nacho Libre, again. this is like the third time this week. Ok, so a few more hours than a week (the first time was last sunday at like 5 at Heinz house). But close enough. Anyway, it always takes me back to my mission when I watch the movie. I see so many people I met as I watch it. I missi my mission. Life was so much simpler then. Try to wake up 6:30, do some stuff until 8:00 when I started my personal study. Then came 9:00 which meant a little estudio with the good ol' companero. at 10:00 I started my language study, which wasn't the most productive time in the world (I'm not going to lie). Then we'd get out and work. All day I got to talk to people about the gospel, which is pretty much the only thing I can have a normal conversation about. On my mission I always had a friend right there. And some of them become your best friend. What they say about the brotherhood is so true. There was always a good time waiting to be had. The perfect photo opportunity. The craziest people to meet. The hardest times to be had. My life changed in oh so many ways. But at the same time I'm pretty much the exact same. On the mission I don't have to worry about food, or where to live or bills or anything. I don't even need to worry about relationships, although I may have put some thought into that more than once. I didn't even need to worry about my future. The gas station we went to was determined not by the price of gas (who looked anyway) but by who had the best fountain drinks (Valero is the way to go everyone. 64 ounces with dr peppper, and most pepsi and coke products as well, really cheap refills).
And now that's all past. I get to look back and reflect on it every day of my life, thanks to my job. And I can honestly say that I miss it. I miss seeing so many amazing people. I miss working solely for the Lord. I miss helping people find joy and happiness as a simple gospel principle would click for them. I miss feeling sad when commitments weren't kept, when people were too afraid to step out and really experience the joy that's just waiting for them. I guess that's part of why I'm grateful I work at the MTC now. I get just a taste of those things, but it's as close as I'll probably ever get. I want the elders there to get more from their missions than I did from mine. I wish I could open up their heads and give them everything that I learned, that I wished I knew before my mission, and just pour it in. But that's not how it works. They need to learn and grow just like I did (hopefully just more quickly). The MTC truly is an amazing opportunity for me and I am so grateful to to the Lord for allowing me to work there.
I guess the fact that the only thing I seem to have a little bit of ability with is talking about the gospel is a big reason why I want to continue to teach it. The MTC is the greatest, and I wish that I could work there forever, but I know that's not how it works. Others who have continued to learn and grow beyond where I am need to come and teach more missionaries. hopefully I'll be sticking around there for awhile though. Since working there forever isn't possible (or feasible for providing for a family) I've changed my sights on my future just a little bit. I really want to be one of those CES guys for the church. I'll start out as a release-time seminary teacher (because that's where everyone starts), but I'd like to someday be an insitute director or (least likely of all) a religion professor here at BYU. I don't know what I need to do to get to that point, but I know where I need to start. It's a really competitive field, because there are so many who want to do it (nerds like me) but I trust that this is what the Lord wants me to do and will bless me in it.
Sorry this post is so boring (oh great, another RM talking about his mission) and I wouldn't be suprised if you just skipped over the whole thing and didn't even read it, which is ok. I've just been thinking about my future a lot lately (after not thinking about it much for two years) and some pieces don't fit as well as others. Some I'm really trying to figure how to fit in, even though I'm not sure if it belongs. Part of the problem (and blessing) of life is that one finds himself so dependent on others and their decisions. sorr for taking up so much space and time.